I have not posted in a while with Christmas preparations and spending time with family, I put the virtual world on hold for a little bit but now I am back.

So as you may know I have been seeking God for myself to learn how to be a woman after his own heart. A word that I have encountered time and time again has been selflessness…..selflessness. I, like most people, am a very selfish person inundated with the images of selfishness as a way of life. To live for myself, to work to get what I want, to claw my way to the top no matter who I have to scratch to get there, have fun at the expense of others. Selfishness is the natural way of life. Shouldn’t that be a clue that I should not be living that way? As a Christian, my life is contra-cultural, peculiar, or at least it is supposed to be. I am supposed to give of myself without regret or regard for what I may feel might be more important to me. If someone else has a need that I can meet even if it means coming out of my comfort zone, I should try and meet it.

Philippians 2:14 Do all things without murmurings and disputing

Another thing I have found about selflessness is how it effects my treatment of God. One example given in The Lost Art of True Beauty was waking up in order to pray. It is a selfish desire to stay up late aimlessly and wake up late the next morning. When I do that, it is likely that I will not spend time with God because I will have to jump up and go about my business. I know that is something that I have to work on. Sleeping. It’s funny how we love sleep so much but when it comes time to rest, it seems like there are so many other fun things to do.

I guess I’ll consider this a challenge to myself. To sleep and wake up on time in order to spend good quality time with God.

A lady knows with whom her allegiance lies – with Christ.


Update?? Is that what they call it?

I realized that I haven’t written about my hair in a while….really, since I’ve had it in twists, it simply has not been my focus which was actually a nice little break. But, the other day, I noticed that one twist was hanging loose (not because of breakage or anything, it was all shed hair that had come out making it loose), so I look it out. I honestly feel like my hair has grown more than half an inch in the past month. I mean, maybe it is my wishful thinking but it seems MUCH longer than it did when I first put the twists in. Either way, I’m not getting too attached – you never know what you’re going to need to do with your hair. Like cut it….and I think I might. A January trim was the plan but we’ll see what it turns into.

You know what else I wanna do in January???? Henna!!!!! Is it for the strengthening properties? YES. Is it so I can fill in the gaps and cracks in my hair? YES. Is it so that my hair will be strong enough to withstand the foolishness I put it through? YES. Is it for the colour? Maybe……since the colour is not guaranteed to show up on dark hair, I really need to focus on what is important, conditioning 🙂

Anywaiz, I wanna try this too!!!!



The Meek and Quiet Spirit for the Obnoxiously Loud

The idea or practice of femininity has eluded me for years. it is not that I have never had the desire to pursue Biblical womanhood or be a lady but I just cimply could not grasp what it really meant to be a lady. Over and over I have heard those words uttered to me, “Be a lady,” but that is a hard task to accomplish when you do not know what the end result looks like.

Enter Proverbs 31 woman.

Many times, I have been told that she is the ideal, she is the woman that we should all strive to be. To be honest, she seems pretty unattainable by the means that everyone pushes her with. (People make it seem like getting to the end result of being her simply takes….well, being her. There is no practice involved…one day you wake up as HER….no such luck)

Now, there is the Titus 2 woman

This lady is a teacher, not a learner. In order to teach a subject, you need to have a firm grasp on the material and that I do not have and I can imagine most young women my age do not either. This is another one that seems out of reach.

Well, how about 1 Peter 3:3-4 woman

Meek and quiet huh??? That is totally another end without means…enough said.

Anywaiz, my current endeavor is to find out what it means to be a lady and apply that to my life letting it become who I am and not just a facade that I put on. Why you ask? I really want to be a woman after God’s heart and I feel like that involves finding out what I, being a lady, need to look and act like. I need practical knowledge though, a way to become what He wants me to be. Secondly, my son needs to know what a lady looks like so that when he is ready to pursue a relationship, he will not be walking in blindly like most of us have. He will know what is  good what is bad…not saying that by the end of this I will be perfect but striving for perfection which should also be his wife’s way of life.

Today I sent out a mass text message to some friends asking what a lady looked like. Here’s what I got:

“A female who embraced the beauty and power of femininity and realizes that class and sophistcation go alongwith it. Also one who does not buse previously mentioned power.” – D’Ani

“I think I hold women to the same standard as men. To me it’s about integrity, discipline and caring for others. Holding ourselves to God’s standards with humility and to respect ourselves as well as others.” – Dom H

These are only two of those that I’d received, they’re still coming in.

I’m currently reading the book that is pictured about, The Lost Art or True Beauty by Leslie Ludy. So far it is practical and applicable and that is most certainly what I like.

Anywaiz, I’m gonna go to run errands and such but I feel that God is really going to use this time that I am spending to refine and change me into the woman He wants me to be which is absolutely my greatest desire.

Quotable Quote: Auntie Mame

Life is a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death!!!

– Auntie Mame

Never been kissed

So this is….great. I feel that there are so many things that we value in relationships and verbal communication is not necessarily one of them. Companionship, comfort, togetherness, etc. But an expression of feelings through words is often overlooked….something I’ve HATED in my past relationships. I felt left in the dark a lot of times because I guess I should have understood through his actions that I was loved, cherished, adored, and so on. I am in no way saying that actions are not needed in a relationship. Just saying it and not having anything to show for your words would be bad too but there needs to be a balance.

We use kisses to convey emotions but what if kissing was not an option? What would you do? I love that the couple featured in the video did not kiss while they were dating. First, I love that they did it in order to remain abstinent. It only makes sense. But I also admire their drive to build their relationship on things beyond physicality.

The funny thing is, this is something that I was thinking about. I know my limitations and weaknesses and I feel that kissing may not be the best thing for me to do in a relationship so this was actually very encouraging.

Maybe I will do this in my next relationship.

We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it until then…

1 Corinthians 7:34

True Confession: I’m afraid

I do NOT own this, but it's cute right? LoL

So confession is good for the soul right? How about the waist? Yea, I think it is. The fatser I get my weight loss fears out in the open, the quicker I will be able to overcome them and move on.

Confession: I’m afraid of failure. I’ve tried to lose weight many times but not publicly. I do not like to speak about it because I feel that I will fail. I mean, if I tell people that I’m going to do it then I don’t look any different when they see me, I’ll feel bad about myself.

Now that I have said that, maybe I’ll be able to make more moves freely to reach my goal.

Speaking of goals and changes that I want to make, I need to figure out what I am going to do with all of the clothes in my room. I mean there’s a lot. It’s a shame that there are days that I feel that I do not know what to wear. Like, really? There’s so much in my room. I have to work on that…it’s so serious. I feel like a part of growing up is being able to put things in order not to say that all adults are organized but I would like to be.


On to the next!!!!

Well, wedding #1 is upon us….2 days away. TWO DAYSSSSSsS!!!!!! Can you believe it???? I can’t.

I’ve lost enough weight to feel good in the dress…great. Now the next goal (I guess this would be considered long term) is to lose 30 more pounds by the next wedding….I like measurable goals, they feel much more attainable. That would put me at 167 lbs. Not bad. Not bad at all. I’ll see how I feel then and decide how much further I want to go. I’m big boned so a good amount of my weight is there (HATE THAT SOMETIMES!!!!) So we’ll see.

Well, here’s the plan:

Journaling what I eat (I bought a cute red journal for that)

Cooking EVERYTHING I eat….I do enjoy cooking 🙂

Exercise….maybe walking since it’s the most convenient but I’ll look into others too.

Well, that looks like a good plan to me and I’m very excited about it.