Bachelorette Party!!!

So this is it, why I’m not dating anyone while I am in college.

When I was 15 I’d gotten pregnant by a boy who I thought was the end-all-be-all for me. Long story short, HAHAHAHAHA no. We don’t even talk anymore.

College hit, another E-A-B-A situation….yea. Nope. Not at all. “I love you, I like her”

The following year after my college fling, I hooked up with a dude I went to high school with, we were not official but we were “exclusively waiting til we graduated to see what happened.” I was the only one exclusive there. Now his ex and I are pretty good friends. My friends say that I always do that, become friends with the person that a guy has cheated on me with…no reason not to if she didn’t know I was there.

Eeeeenyway. All of these situations have one thing in common: God was not there. These relationships were solely focused on each other and that is really not the way to go. As people we are incomplete, there is a desire for more that we filled with earthly things. For me, it was relationships with guys. For some it may be drugs, alcohol, school, work, anything that can distract you from the pain of emptiness. We are all empty and searching for fulfillment.

I’m finding mine in Christ. I LOVE HIM!!!! He is the only thing that can really give you what you want and NEED without consequence. With guys, there was pregnancy and heartbreak that still lingers occasionally. Because of the pain of one relationship, I was unable to be stable in another hurting another person and myself even more, and then being hurt by them too. In the one that followed, I was lead by someone who made me believe they would never hurt me only to find that they did exactly what they said they would not do. But honestly, God prepared me for this one. He knew it was time to make a change.

Around this same time, my friend showed me the verse 1 Corinthians 7:32b (I guess it would be considered b) saying that the unmarried person concerns themselves with the things of the Lord, learning how to please Him…did my actions please God? Were my relationship blessed? Why did I get into them at all? Were they fillers? Something to think about. I realized that what I’d been doing was wrong and I had to get back with my first Love, my God, My Jesus.

A partial person cannot be satisfied with another partial person…it just does not work that way.

Another reason I am not dating in college is because it is REALLY hard to study when you are on the phone talking about EVERYTHING all the livelong day. I mean, really? Why do we have to talk so much? I’m neglecting my homework. Why aren’t you telling me to do my homework? That is somethings I was always weird about. I made sure guys did their homework and were held accountable and blah, blah, blah but that never seemed to happen for me…except that one time but ummm, that turned out badly too. Funny. I need the time to concentrate on myself and what I need to accomplish. To set boundaries and understand what I can and cannot do. Why do my grades have to be bad because I am dating someone? I mean, that’s bad!!!! Do you really want to marry someone who cannot maintain? Probably not.

I tend to lose track of myself. I begin to take care of everyone but me. Family, baby and boyfriend/friends. I’m not on that list anywhere. I get knocked out of my own priorities. Not good at all. Gotta get it together. Plus, I should not have to take care of someone. We should be mutually looking out for one another so no one is being babied. Oy, getting a headache just thinking about it. There have been times when I was stressed unto sickness over someone. That’s a no no.

Hope this made sense. It’s late, I’m tired but kind of wanted to get this out so I would not have to think about it, then forget about it, etc.

So, in short, I guess there it is. I’d made the promise not to date in college once, fell off of the wagon and jumped back on with renewed purpose. I want to know God and be fulfilled in Him, not having to seek the comfort and love of another but know that I am secure in my Father in Heaven.

He loves me and I want to serve Him wholeheartedly with EVERYTHING I do

Colossians 3:23

(I’ll get into why this is so titled another time…that’s bad journalism man! I know better than that but oh well)


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