So far, so great :-)

Well, I am excited!!! To be honest, I am kind of pumped to be taking summer classes. I just like the idea of learning. It makes me feel good. Another thing that I have been loving recently is that I am now a junior in college. WHAT??? ARE YOU SERIOUS??? A JUNIOR??? DIDN’T I JUST GET HERE???

I guess not πŸ™‚ I’m pumped. So I’ve been tweaking my life plan again. I tend to do that every now and then. The first was to become a CNA and then a nurse before law school. The second, to become a teacher through the Teach for America program before law school. I came up with both of these plans talking to lawyers. One was an assistant DA in Media. During law school she was a nurse and a mother. She really seemed to love her experience so I thought that I would try it. The second was my Spanish professor. She said that she wished she’d taken time before becoming a lawyer as it was rigorous work that she was not ready for due to family situations but she felt that teaching prepares you for the responsibility as others are truly depending on you. It teaches responsibility.

Now this third plan just kind of came to me in a dream, a daydream anyway, while I was sitting at DCCC flipping through a course catalog: why not taking classes there after I graduate to become a paralegal? I mean, it’s like 10 more classes and it’s pretty good money. I would be able to do that while taking night classes at a law school…I’m now thinking Temple. As of now, this is the plan. I really need to pray about it.

Today, I was sitting in the sun room and realized that I had included God in passing in these decisions but had not truly consulted my Heavenly Father. Ummmmm, yea, not the best idea ya know? I really need to ask God what He wants me to do and where to go for that matter.

Initially, my radar was set for Liberty University in Lynchburg, Virginia. Gorgeous setting and Christ-centered law curriculum. Who could ask for anything more? Right about now, I am thinking child care. While I have no doubts in taking my kiddo to VA, I still need to look into a couple of things and weigh my options. I need to find out what is best for him.

As for schools, I’ve requested information from Villanova, Temple, Widener and Liberty. I don’t know what will come of any of this but I’m still excited about it all.

Can’t believe it is time to start looking. Time flies when you’re having fun

πŸ™‚

Ooooooh LSAT. Gotta look about some practice ones and maybe prep classes. Although, I do not believe one can be sufficiently prepared for a standardized test…just a thought

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Democra(-T-)cy

Well today was one of those days where I spent a lot of time in the car. I drove from one school to the next and back filling out an application, getting transcripts and then registering for summer class (DCCC here I come. I really want some DCCC gear to be honest. I want memorabilia from every school that I attend). While in the car a question came into my mind why I am inclined to one political party over another? What is the difference? What’s the deal Liv? But then one words popped into my mind HANDOUTS!!!! (cough cough) I mean, ummmm government aid programs πŸ™‚

Really though, I realize that one party is more likely to give the country money saying that they are doing everyone a service, that people will invest in their homelands and learn how to handle what is rightly theirs. So patriotic (hand over heart looking at a flag) but then it occurs to me, why didn’t we (the people) do that before? Haven’t we learned our lesson? Ummmmm no.

By giving a country a barrel of fish, no one is learning how to take care of themselves. What happens instead is that people realize that they do not have to do things for themselves but they can reach out their hand and receive what others have made. While some will take it and invest, use it as a jump start to getting a job and living life, others will not. In the words of The Grinch as played by Jim Carey, “…and the avarice never ends. I want golf clubs, I want diamonds, I want a pony so I can ride it twice, then sell is to make glue.” Wise words from a furry green creature (what is he supposed to be anyway. Oscar the Grouch’s cousin??? Love that movie though). If many know that they can receive what they did not make then they will continue to take until we are in a greater deficit.

Honestly, I feel that it is better to go into dept over a war (warranted or not) than by giving money to people. The thing is wars will end and there will be a time of rebuilding, that’s how things go. But people will continue to take if you are allowing them to, digging an even deeper hole.

YIKES!!!!

Oh American, the beautiful, I am praying for you.

[Put that in your smipe and poke it.] <— honestly, this was completely unnecessary and random. It just came to my mind LoL but spoonerisms are awesome.

Something blue.

I want to wear blue shoes to my wedding. As a young lady of 20, I am inclined to flip through a bridal magazine every now and then. In one I saw these really cute shoes from the David’s Bridal accessories store that were like pink and green, I am supposing for the bridesmaids and it hit me! Well, to be honest, it hit me before like a year or two ago but this was like a little reminder. I really want to wear blue shoes on my wedding day.

Where did “something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue” come from? I would really like to know. I would not like to indulge something that has a questionable origin. I mean, regardless, I want my blue shoes since they are for noΒ  particular purpose but to be blue beneath my white dress.

Oh, speaking of weddings, I NEED A DATE TO MY FRIEND’S WEDDING. So I’ve known about this wedding for like ever now and I have been thinking who to take. I had an idea for one date but then realized that he would be out of town during that time so I asked my friend and now she will be out of town that day also (with good purpose too. I’m so happy for everyone who is going on the Cali trip with House of Chayah). So now, I am stuck dateless…what to do, what to do? I mean, I do not wanna drive all the way to Syracuse by myself. From Philly, that is a five hour drive….ummmmmm, nope. So preferably someone with a license so we can at least switch off whenever. Really, I’m just at a loss.

Whatever. Something will happen.

Blue shoes, out.

Bachelorette Party!!!

So this is it, why I’m not dating anyone while I am in college.

When I was 15 I’d gotten pregnant by a boy who I thought was the end-all-be-all for me. Long story short, HAHAHAHAHA no. We don’t even talk anymore.

College hit, another E-A-B-A situation….yea. Nope. Not at all. “I love you, I like her”

The following year after my college fling, I hooked up with a dude I went to high school with, we were not official but we were “exclusively waiting til we graduated to see what happened.” I was the only one exclusive there. Now his ex and I are pretty good friends. My friends say that I always do that, become friends with the person that a guy has cheated on me with…no reason not to if she didn’t know I was there.

Eeeeenyway. All of these situations have one thing in common: God was not there. These relationships were solely focused on each other and that is really not the way to go. As people we are incomplete, there is a desire for more that we filled with earthly things. For me, it was relationships with guys. For some it may be drugs, alcohol, school, work, anything that can distract you from the pain of emptiness. We are all empty and searching for fulfillment.

I’m finding mine in Christ. I LOVE HIM!!!! He is the only thing that can really give you what you want and NEED without consequence. With guys, there was pregnancy and heartbreak that still lingers occasionally. Because of the pain of one relationship, I was unable to be stable in another hurting another person and myself even more, and then being hurt by them too. In the one that followed, I was lead by someone who made me believe they would never hurt me only to find that they did exactly what they said they would not do. But honestly, God prepared me for this one. He knew it was time to make a change.

Around this same time, my friend showed me the verse 1 Corinthians 7:32b (I guess it would be considered b) saying that the unmarried person concerns themselves with the things of the Lord, learning how to please Him…did my actions please God? Were my relationship blessed? Why did I get into them at all? Were they fillers? Something to think about. I realized that what I’d been doing was wrong and I had to get back with my first Love, my God, My Jesus.

A partial person cannot be satisfied with another partial person…it just does not work that way.

Another reason I am not dating in college is because it is REALLY hard to study when you are on the phone talking about EVERYTHING all the livelong day. I mean, really? Why do we have to talk so much? I’m neglecting my homework. Why aren’t you telling me to do my homework? That is somethings I was always weird about. I made sure guys did their homework and were held accountable and blah, blah, blah but that never seemed to happen for me…except that one time but ummm, that turned out badly too. Funny. I need the time to concentrate on myself and what I need to accomplish. To set boundaries and understand what I can and cannot do. Why do my grades have to be bad because I am dating someone? I mean, that’s bad!!!! Do you really want to marry someone who cannot maintain? Probably not.

I tend to lose track of myself. I begin to take care of everyone but me. Family, baby and boyfriend/friends. I’m not on that list anywhere. I get knocked out of my own priorities. Not good at all. Gotta get it together. Plus, I should not have to take care of someone. We should be mutually looking out for one another so no one is being babied. Oy, getting a headache just thinking about it. There have been times when I was stressed unto sickness over someone. That’s a no no.

Hope this made sense. It’s late, I’m tired but kind of wanted to get this out so I would not have to think about it, then forget about it, etc.

So, in short, I guess there it is. I’d made the promise not to date in college once, fell off of the wagon and jumped back on with renewed purpose. I want to know God and be fulfilled in Him, not having to seek the comfort and love of another but know that I am secure in my Father in Heaven.

He loves me and I want to serve Him wholeheartedly with EVERYTHING I do

Colossians 3:23

(I’ll get into why this is so titled another time…that’s bad journalism man! I know better than that but oh well)

Let’s talk

Not gonna lie to you….I am a little bit upset. I’d just written all of this stuff and then my beloved Talula (my laptop…that’s her name) decided to shut down without warning. Just asked me if I was wanted to save my webpages. I’m just thinking, “Man, I must have pressed something wrong by accident,” but no. Not the case at all. Anywaiz, let’s chat.Β  I have three things to talk about: Rap session tonight, something that I cannot remember that I hope will come back to me, and what I have learned so far as a none-teenager. Ya ready? Let’s go. OH WAIT, I REMEMBER!!!!! It’s about summer classes. HA

So tonight was my first time attending a House of Chayah rap session. Basically, it is Christian people talking about stuff. Not like frivolously but really getting to the root of some issues. Tonight’s topic was callings and discipleship (remember, this is from the eyes and ears of Olivia Denton. In the event that you were there and you heard something that you found important that I did not record, I am sorry :-). Callings, there are two kinds: primary and secondary. We as Christians often confuse the secondary for the primary since we were never really taught to emphasize the primary and make it our, uh, primary focus but instead misconstrue our secondary calling as the primary. So SIMPLE!!!! Let’s define

Primary: the great commission to go make disciples of the nations. As Christians, we are supposed to preach the gospel without restraint. The give the news of what changed us so that others may be changed not because we did it and now everyone else has to but because we have the truth and we are supposed to share it out of LoVe.

Secondary: ministry (which literally means to serve). We serve as singers, dancers, deacons, janitors, ushers and any other way you can imagine. Oddly enough, I find that these are the things that can be seen and glorified more readily.

Often times, after we get saved, no one is there to guide us (discipleship) and let us know that we need to constantly be in the Word so that when the opportunity to witness presents itself (which happens often), we will have the words to speak as the Spirit leads and brings it back to memory. Instead, we are told that we need to get out there are serve, serve, serve. WHICH IS RIGHT!!!! We are certainly called to serve but that should not be our main focus but to share the gospel and LOVE of Christ.

Ok…..next. SCHOOL is a killer. So I need to take some summer classes, well need is kinda strong but they are a little more necessary than they are optional. NEXT WEEK IS THE LAST WEEK TO REGISTER…Really? Are you serious? Right now when I don’t have a car right? Great….just, great. Well, all I can say is I need to start planning and praying for God to make a way to Media next and the following week (weeks). This should be something.

LASTLY – so I’ve been 20 for over 20 days. I really wanted to post on this topic on the 24th since that would have been exactly 20 days but the power went out due to a lovely storm knocking out everything in sight…not everything. I am exaggerating in my disappointment. Still, 20 for 20+ days. What have I learned? What is new? How do I feel as a whole none-teenage person? The honest answers, I’ve really been experiencing a lot in these past few days. For some reason my brother has been involving me in his activities asking if I would like to attend his basketball game and not being so surprised when I show up at places where he is placing (guitar). In these excursions, I’ve met people. People that are completely in awe of God in the most beautiful way. They submit to Him and to each other, opening themselves up to help and be there for one another. Not too much of that going on these days, it is good to see that it exists. I love watching the Spirit move people to help others, it intrigues me, the kindness. I’m learning to be responsible. There has been this awkward shift in my relationship with someone due to someone else’s presence and I just do not understand it. Really, I don’t. But I realize that I need to pray for both persons A and B so that things will be done correctly and even though we may not see eye to eye on all tactics, we will realize that we are headed in the same direction. I’m letting go of a lot of things. Ummmmm, ya ever have a relationship with someone that just dissipated out of nowhere? Sometimes you try to hold on and other times, you simply let go. Well, I tried to hold on but God pried my fingers off of this person’s leg…painful but totally worth it. Yea, so I’m learning that there are two ways to go: simply letting go when it is time or having God intervene which can turn into a painful lesson. I’m a little tired of this lesson repetition sooooooooo yea. Oh, last thing. So I’m talking to my friend about this guy that I have like the biggest crush on. He’s in LOVE with God (so passionate and his worship is beautiful), he’s funny, he’s smart, he already graduated college with great aspirations, he’s handsome, he’s talented, just an all around sweetheart. Did I mention pretty good with kids? LoL My intention is not to get into a serious relationship until I am finished with college…I just do not see the point anymore to be completely honest but I will do a full post about that another day mmmk? So why am I even bothering to like this guy like this. My friend who is the awesomeness was like, “Well, pray about it. Ask God to take the feelings away if this man is not supposed to be your husband. It really works. Then you can be friends with him.” Funny how we don’t think to pray.

Well, this ended up being longer than I thought it would…..but it was great though. I had an awesome night and I thank God for His motion.

What’s up with that???

This really isn’t about anything in particular. Just rambling I guess. So here we go…

Pictures? What ever happened to good posture? I saw a picture of a little girl who actually isn’t so little anymore (I remember when she was born) and she is slouching like her hands should be in her feet’s place. I don’t get it? Why do that? I think it looks kind of funny, not like in a laughing way. I mean awkward and uncomfortable. Really, it’s not just pictures, there is just a terrible posture epidemic that is running rampant. Is it to look like a model in her mainly subordinate position?

Strangers? They can be danger. True. So do you realize that everyone EVERYONE you meet in life is a stranger? I mean really, you are not inside of another persons head so you cannot tell whether or not they are crazy just by looking at them. They could be just as loco as any killer out there. The especially funny thing is that while random people kidnap and rape, the majority of violent crimes are perpetrated by those closest to you. Strange huh??? What really brought me to this thought was the lady who does my hair. While I am sitting in her chair thinking, “Everyone you meet in life is a stranger,” she begins talking to whoever on the phone about her parole officer. ARE YOU SERIOUS? WHAT DID YOU DO? Just because she has a PO doesn’t mean that she is going to kill me. I know a lot of people with parole officers for the slightest indiscretions. In a way, I can’t be too hard on her or start to freak out and never come back because, I just do not know what she did….which is actually a good reason not to go back. But I really like the way she does my hair so I’ll just pray and go πŸ™‚

Speaking of hair…..let’s talk about it for a second. I was just reading someone else’s blog about hair (bglhonline.com) and there was a girl featured who had a professor that told her something about natural hair, β€œIt’s not so much about rejecting Anglo Saxon and European aesthetics as it is embracing your own.” I really like that quote. Embracing my own God given aesthetics πŸ™‚

Now here is a question: If it is given by God and all things He created are good in His sight, is it ok to be natural??? That sounds like a funny question as it is a little backwards but here’s the deal. Some people hate my hair like with a passion. HATE but it’s given by God who said that I am fearfully and wonderfully made(Psalm 139:14 <—- this was actually a conversation I had with a lovely young lady when I visited a friend’s church)…why do I have to straighten my hair? I don’t like it straight. Does God want it straight? Hmmmmm? For now I’ve just been keeping it braided until I reach a conclusion on this matter.

Oh one last thing, people are actually reading this!!!! Well, of course you know because you are. Thanks πŸ™‚ I never really expected it to be honest, I was just doing something that I thought was kind of cool. But I was talking to my friend Cathy and she was like, “YEA GIRL I READ YOU BLOG!!!” (love that girl) and then I get a comment from my brother (whom I love dearly) and another young lady. Incredible. I’m excited about that. Thanks again guys πŸ™‚

Anywaiz, I’m going to make the best of this loverly day that I was graciously granted.

All the best.

There is none like You

So tonight…..oh, tonight. I did not expect it to be what it was. I just figured I would go to this fund raiser concert, support and see some friends and be finished. But no! That is not what God had in mind.

I really wanted a worship experience, almost a desire for a release and I thought the possibility of it coming from here was there but the idea left me as time came close to the concert.

The atmosphere of surrender was phenomenal. While there were fewer people than I expected, the room was full. The spirit of God and I can only imagine a host of angels joined in as we lifted our hearts to the King. He is sooooooo good and I am soooooo glad

Recently, stress has been following me like a real stalker and it felt as if my prayers were hitting the ceiling. No matter what I did I could not get passed this awkward barrier that felt like serious silence on God’s part and of course it became discouraging. To reach God and feel His presence would have been amazing…but it simply was not happening or at least it did not feel like it was.

But tonight, there was a release. As testimonies, admittance of weakness and cries for the Lord filled the air, the room change from a jazz cafe to a sanctuary. He was welcome and He showed Himself strong. My God, my Father, my Love.

I feel like I’ve been renewed once again. My heart cried in harmony with others as we worshiped the giver of all.

I could go on forever about this one experience. It was perfect. I only pray that this is not simply an emotional, one night kind of thing but that He will continue to usher me into His beautiful, wonderful presence.

My God, my Father, my Love

He is exalted and I will praise Him

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